Monday, January 19, 2009

Daytime tv CAN make you think........who knew.

Today is Martin Luther King Day. Which means?


So I get up, walk the dogs and plop on the couch for some daytime telly.
Do you have ANY idea what gems we miss due to our jobs?!?!?

"The Real Housewives of Atlanta"
Think-the women from "Flavor of Love" with money.

These women have No class, No education, No taste, No common sense, No grasp of the English Language.
What they DO have is men who give them anything they want.

These horrid women actually consider themselves "high society".
One woman today didn't know what guacamole was.
and when it was prepared fresh for her, table side, in the traditional stone bowl, she freaked that they were touching her food with "rocks".
She drives a $100K car paid for by her "man"
She also wears the world's worst wigs, smokes a pack a day and is out of shape.

What in the name of ghetto fabulous?!?!?!

of course, then I began to think--this is NOT confined to Atlanta.
I personally know several uneducated, classless women who not only treat the men in their lives like dirt, but are horrible mothers or addicts or down right mean who ALSO enjoy the benefits of wealthy man's attention.

For the MOST PART, these men are intelligent, cultured men who enjoy the finer things in life.
"Finer" apparently does not include females.
What is up with that?

These men would not settle for a Rolecks or a drive a Dodge or vacation at a Motel 6.
How are 3rd rate women on the radar?

I was in the dating scene for many years and I recall ALL the men listing intelligence and class in an attribute they seek in a woman, so wtf?
Peruse the profiles, the Millionaire Match profiles or ANY other profile on ANY dating site and tel me if you see even ONE listing like the following:

"Seeking uneducated, culture less headcase. I prefer a woman with hair extensions, poor language skills and no ability to support herself. Drug addicts a plus and bad mothering skills will show me that you should always come first. Please drink too much and embarrass me again and again in front of my friends and business relations so I will know that you care."

um, yeah. I musta skimmed right over those adds, for SURELY they exist, no?

But aaaaaaaaaaah, my friends and I tell ourselves, "Thank the Heavens WE have great men!"
We say, "WE don't need money when we have fabulous men!"

but a tiny voice in my head whispers...
Sure, he loves you...
...but IF he had the money, would he be with one of the Bobbleheaded bimbos?

probably not, right?


Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Red White and Jet Blue.

I read today that a man sporting a t-shirt that read "We Will Not Be Silenced" in arabic script, won a lawsuit against Jet Blue Airlines in the amount of $240,000.00 because the airline forced him cover his t-shirt before being allowed on board.

It is racial profiling! The attorney's cried.
It is dicrimination! The Muslims cried.
It is harrassment! The liberals cried.

What about the rights of the business owner?
What of the rights of the OTHER 200 passengers?

Remember in Ye Olde Malt Shoppe where the sign read
"No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service"?

"We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to Anyone"

Why if it is MY business can I NOT refuse to "work" for someone for whatever reason I choose?

As a lawyer, you can refuse to take a case if you don't like it.
As a nail tech, you can refuse to do a pedicure because you don't like the toes.
As a restaurant, you can refuse to serve a guy who smells like goat feet.
As a contractor, you can refuse to take on a construction job that is too much of a pain in the ass.

So WHY when you are putting several hundred people on your care, are you not allowed to put conditions on flying in YOUR PLANE?

YOUR PLANE, bottom line.
If it was MY airline, I should be able to say I don't want CHILDREN on my plane...or people who SNORE, or guys with TOO MUCH AFTERSHAVE.

As a business owner, I am here to please not only the masses, but MYSELF> otherwise, I would go work for someone ELSE.

If you don't like my is your refund for your ticket, enjoy your flight ON ANOTHER AIRLINE.
You do NOT have to choose JET BLUE.
talk bad about them, picket, scream and shout.
But at the end of the day, there are just as many people who would rather fly WITHOUT you and your redderick, than are feeling "your" pain.

So please Mr. Raed Jarrar, keep your t-shirts off any future flights I may be on...scratch that, I think I will just DRIVE.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I think we should take a vote.

My girlfriend and I were being silly while shopping the other day..NO! how odd! ;)
and we started pondering the whats and whatevers of GROUPS.
We have a goose that's plural geese
but a moose is not meese?
Goose male is Gander, moose male should be Mander
If you have a Gaggle of geese, do you get a Maggle of Meese?

and Mouse is Mice
but my neighborhood is not filled with Hice even though I live in a House.

Why are SOME things plural simply BECAUSE (fish, deer,grass)

some add and "s" (dogs, ardvarks, pianos)

and some still change the word entirely (foot=feet, fungus=fungi, knife=knives)

but my favorite...words that are plural for no apparent reason (pants, shorts)

So we have
a TEAM of Ox, but a SKULK of Fox
a herd of...Elephants, Whales or Deer
a flock of...Sheep or Birds (oh, except Swallows which are FLIGHT???wtf?)

After pondering this ridiculousness, it is a wonder our children ever figure it out.

My point is, I think we should have UNIVERSAL words for junk.
Besides, I don't want to have to press "1" for English anymore and I was thinking, perhaps if we made OUR language make a little more sense, the foriegners could figure it out a little quicker.

If you ever wondered about some animals, here is a web address.
Didya know a group of Apes is called "shrewdness"?

don't get me started on male/female/young names...I mean COME ON some HAVE special names and some DON'T? huh? and WHY is a female Bear called a sow?

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Have I become my grandfather?!?!

I don't consider myself a person who is prejudiced in any way (except against LAZY I suppose)-hmmm, maybe that explains it.

My ex husband just wrote that he is "embarrassed for" me.
He wants to know how I can be so racist.

Honestly, I don't have a problem with a BLACK president.

I have a problem with the fact that people voted for him simply because he was black.

*so please....tell me, AM I a racist? Will I now start using terms like "my black friends"?

Am I predjucided against people who take for granted this Country and its democracy until they think it will provide them with something?

Am I prejudiced against people who only think of themselves when faced with a large group issue?

Am I prejudiced against people who do the BARE MINIMUM yet expect the maximum return? yep.

But do I prejudice against anyone who thinks for themselves but who's opinions differ from mine?
I believe any THOUGHT OUT opinion is of value.

Do I prejudice against someone whose beliefs are different from mine?
As long as you HAVE something to believe in I think it is amazing.

Do I preudice against those who do not have as much as I have?
I volunteer, I donate, I teach my child charity and love in hopes that she can understand there are times when we all need a helping hand.

So tell me.

Am I racist?

Am I now that old man who plays chess and talks about "darkies", uses words like "spic" or thinks oriental women are all sex slaves.

I don't think so.

I think I am just frusterated and disappointed in the people who abuse this land I love.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

john jacob jingle Ansel Adams, his name is my name too.

Ah, the modern day "photographer".

It seems that everywhere you look these days, someone is touting themselves as a photographer.
I dare say you could not venture through ONE set of "myspace" friends without finding at least one person who fancies themself a picture picasso. *lower case on purpose*

I have looked at the pictures of these so called "professional" photographers and I believe perhaps Dorthea Lange would not be worried about her spot in the bread line, if you catch my drift.

What makes people thing that just because photography equipment is more readily accessible than ever before, they are able to stake claim to something previously considered ART?

Since when did getting a kid to smile in the center of a picture make you a professional photographer? When did snapping a pic with your digital whatever while some dog is shaking drool off its face qualify you as "having a knack" for photography?

My favorites though....have got to be the "fashion" photographers. You all know these guys. They get some 19 year old girls to sit on rocks, motorcycles, on the beach, or in a railway station posing in bikini or a short skirt and heels and they call themselves photographers.

Would someone please tell these ego maniacs that a snap shot does not a photographer make.
It is my firm belief that before you are allowed to BUY a camera you should have to sign a waiver that you have at least BEEN to a photography exhibit, or at the very least, are not going to attempt to pretend you are a photographer because your new camera has auto-focus and you are now able to take clear pictures.

Heck, even Anne Geddes, although best known for those goofy babies-as-other-stuff pictures, has some beautiful work SANS butterfly wings, cow costumes and flower petals.

When it comes down to memories...
I am all for the family pictures taken by Great Aunt Josephine with her thumb in the corner and the subjects of her sneak attack making a face or caught drinking out of the milk jug.

--and when it comes to professional photography....leave it to the artists, not the weekend Cannon warriors.

Please visit some REAL photography when you get a chance. There is a lot of beauty in the world, and the only way some of us may ever see it is through someone else's eye.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Did you say JEHOVAH?!?!

Recently several of my close friends have begun their spiritual journey.
Don't get me wrong...
I applaud anyone who is trying to better themselves.

That being said: I knew it would only be a matter of time before I was to hear the words
"you should come to our church with us!"

That time came today.
Followed by my next favorite phrase--
"It's okay that you are Jewish, it's NON-DENOMINATIONAL"

uh huh.

"THAT'S GREAT!" (says I)
"So is there a lot of Jesus worship there? You know, "in Jesus name, Amen-Jesus cleansed your sins-being saved through Jesus Christ" etc.?"


not so much for jews then.

Anyhoo, this leads me to ask you New Testiment-ers to help a Jewish sistah out.
I wanna know....

..What happened to God?

It seems these days there is very little mention of God in the Christian religions of late.
Jesus is the man it would seem.

I mean, I get the whole
"we believe Jesus was the son of God and died on the cross for our sins" bit-- I do.

But I wonder, is it like some sort of heavenly Sanford & Son-wherein the Father retires and the Son takes over?

I was always under the impression that God sent you guys (yeah YOU--we chosen people were already good to go) the old sandaled one to remind you that HE is the one true God, cleanse your sins for a fresh start, yada yada.

So how did the Big Guy end up being a holy benchwarmer?

Who took the God out of Christianity and why????????

Why have so many religions forsaken Him for the trendier "Jesus" model?

-JESUS 2000-
A savior for the new millenium! He walks, he talks, he turns water into wine!

Are you tired of being laughed at because you still hold on to the antiquated belief that being a good person, helping others and loving God is all you need?
Well look no further! JESUS 2000 is your ticket to heaven!

Wanna lie, cheat or steal?
JESUS 2000 says simply ask forgiveness and BAM!
sin is gone!

Wanna feel superior to others?
JESUS 2000 says that ONLY through accepting Christ will you save yourself from demons!

*enjoy secretly knowing that all your silly "GOD" loving friends are bound for eternal damnation*

and one of the best parts about JESUS 2000?
You don't even have to know how it works before you can start using it!

That's right! You simply have to listen to your JESUS 2000 instructional pasture for 1 hour a week and take all he says at face value-you don't even have to think for yourself before you can start telling other NON-SAVED people that they are wrong!

Act now and receive your very own un-buttered toast emblazened with the likeness of the Mary, mother of Jesus!
But that's not all!
We will also include STIGMATA! yes! amaze your friends and prove your faith!
(and even if you decide not to keep JESUS 2000, please keep STIGMATA as our gift to you simply for trying JESUS 2000!)

*prophecies not valid in all states, some baptisms void where prohibited, tithing not included--please see your local evangelists for details*

"And God said to Moses, 'I AM WHO I AM; and He said, thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, I AM has sent me to you... this is My eternal name, and this is how I am to be recalled for all generations'" (Exodus 3:14-15).

Hisham'ru lakhem pen yif'teh l'vav'khem v'sar'tem va'avad'tem Elohim acheirim v'hish'tachavitem lahem
Beware, lest your heart be deceivedand you turn and serve other gods and worship them.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Tampons and simple thoughts.

An institution set up to provide help to the needy.

I consider myself a charitable person.

I donate my time to the food banks.
I talk others into giving blood.
(that’s right...OTHERS-shaddup, they can’t use my bad blood even if I COULD stomach giving it!)
I give money and food and I do random acts of charitable kindness.
I buy from all the office girls’ children when they are selling things for school.
I sponsor walks for Cancer and Runs for MS.
I save pennies for the school penny drive and I even save my yogurt lids.

But I believe charity starts at home.

It seems that 90% of the charities that contact me are in support of another nation's problem.

There’s Bangladesh Cyclone Relief,
Sudan Refugee Relief,
Pakistan Earthquake Relief,
Humanitarian Crisis in Southeast Asian,
Save Darfur Coalition,
Neglected Humanitarian Crisis in Uganda, and my favorite...
Mexico Flood Relief (Don’t we call that San Antonio?)

We have commercials asking us to donate "the cost of a cup of coffee" to feed a child in a foreign country,
ads about how an African girl can’t go to school because she needs tampons–(please give)

We have products of all kinds label "RED"-which supports AIDs in Africa,
the "White Ella Project" which is for children with AIDs in Africa.

There is an Iraq Relief Charity to help those Iraqi in need, due to the suffering caused by the war. The war OUR boys are fighting. The one that has killed thousands of our sons, husbands, brothers.
*I wonder if the Relief Fund makes enough to help support the children in America that are left without fathers? or help pay for the therapy the grieving parents need? or assist in helping take care of a husband who has no limbs.

Please don’t misunderstand, I am apathetic to the plight of all these nations and their people.

But on your way to the grocery store, the airport, the doctor’s office...look around.

We have so many people in need right here in
of America.

Go to the elementary school "on the wrong side of the tracks" and see the kids who live without running water or food in the fridge.

Go to the rural neighborhoods where our elderly aren’t able to take care of themselves but can’t afford nursing homes or home health care.

Go to the shelters that are full every night with families that are STILL homeless due to the tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes and floods in our own communities.

I believe in charities.

But I cannot in good conscience walk past the sick child whose parent cannot afford to get him the healthcare he needs

to drop a check in the mail,

to help supply tampons to a girl in Africa.

*please check the rating of ANY charity you support. Give responsibly.